Ruth Kalinka Designs

My housing search ended last week in a surprising way. While I was so determined to move to reduce rent (and had several nice options available), I ended up using that market research (47+ properties!) to negotiate my existing lease.

The search was invigorating and exhausting. I met amazing people, joined new communities, and enjoyed the adventure. But, the process was physically demanding and emotionally draining, so it was also a relief to reach the end.

I’m continuing to downsize and reorganize my space, but now I am channeling all of that search energy into connecting with new clients, creating awesome web and print design work, and pursuing my passions in food and wine.

Sometimes it’s hard to know when to stop and change direction, instead of feverishly pushing forward on something that is no longer taking us toward our goals. Sure, I’ve made some compromises in this choice, but I know on a gut level that this was the right decision at this time.

I later discovered that this advice can also be found in The Dip by Seth Godin, whom I had the pleasure of meeting with Hugh McLeod at the Purple Cow print party on the very day I ended my search. The event was wonderfully intimate and inspiring, particularly on a day of moving forward in a new direction. (Thank you, Hugh and Seth!)

Tonight, I am 99% sure I know where I am moving. While the process has been all-consuming and exhausting on every level, my housing search has actually only lasted 12 days.

On this journey, I have made new friends, met potential clients, practiced Chinese, connected with a spiritual community, and walked all over Philadelphia to see the insides of about 40 properties – and to hunt for phone numbers to many more.

This winding path has provided new experiences and clarified the answer. Remarkably, though, I discovered today that one phone call 12 days ago probably would have revealed the same destination! For many reasons, it was clearly necessary to take the journey and to go deeper within myself, rather than to know immediately. I needed to immerse myself fully in the uncertainty and reach out to anyone and everyone for leads every day. That may be one of the biggest lessons of the past 12 days.

Two years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Lisa Haneberg, author of Two Weeks to a Breakthrough. One of the techniques she talked about in her presentation, and encouraged me personally to practice, was to zero in on your goal and share it with two new people each day.

I shared this goal with dozens more than two people each day and received helpful suggestions and introductions from strangers all over town. It got easier all the time to strike up conversations about my goal anywhere – on street corners, in shops, at a festival, etc. – and the adventure unfolded in unexpected directions as new clues were revealed.

I haven’t thought about my conversation with Lisa or her book in a long time, but as I watched myself pounding the pavement and talking to anyone and everyone about my quest, I grinned as I suddenly remembered her advice. Thanks, Lisa, you were right!

It’s easy to find excuses not to reach out and ask, but unless we put ourselves out there, how can we get what we want?