Ruth Kalinka Designs

Would-you-like-a-cup-of-tea?

Obviously, over here we’d have a cup of tea… the answer to everything!

Wise words from a friend in England last week while I had to wait. For huge design files to transfer. For software to run. For technology to work its magic, while not knowing whether or not the solution would work.

I wanted to use the waiting time productively and I was growing impatient.

So, I took his advice. I waited out the 40 minutes of file transferring and software processing away from the computer. I brewed a pot of tea, cleaned the kitchen, and listened to Eat Pray Love on audiobook.

And guess what? He was right. I was more calm and focused. I’d still been productive, too, but in a much needed physically active, get-away-from-the-computer way. In a fill-my-mind-with-something-inspirational way.

Take a break. Have a cup of tea. Embrace the waiting time, the uncertainty, as a moment to recharge, so that you’re clear and ready when the next task arises.

That advice is still making me smile days later, popping into my head while I wait for decisions and files so I can finish another design. The kitchen and laundry are clean.

Geeky footnote: The latest episode of Dr Who (just days after this advice) has a bit about tea, so read the photo caption like a Dalek!

Though I announced my 2010 ThemeWord a few weeks ago, I’ve just realized tonight that I didn’t mention my 2010 ThemeSong.

Last month, I was particularly moved by an episode of Glee featuring the immensely talented Chris Colfer and Lea Michele in a duet of Defying Gravity (from Wicked). The song’s soaring determination resonates deeply on my journey of transformation.

Incidentally, if you haven’t watched Glee, yes, it is definitely the best show you’re not watching. Huge congratulations on your Screen Actor’s Guild Award tonight, Glee! So well deserved!

Defying Gravity

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It’s time to try
Defying gravity
I think I’ll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you won’t bring me down!

I’m through accepting limits
’cause someone says they’re so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I’ll never know!
Too long I’ve been afraid of
Losing love I guess I’ve lost
Well, if that’s love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I’d sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I’m defying gravity
I think I’ll try
Defying gravity
And you won’t bring me down!

I’d sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I’m defying gravity
I think I’ll try
Defying gravity
And you won’t bring me down!
bring me down!
ohh ohhh ohhhh!

Tonight, I am 99% sure I know where I am moving. While the process has been all-consuming and exhausting on every level, my housing search has actually only lasted 12 days.

On this journey, I have made new friends, met potential clients, practiced Chinese, connected with a spiritual community, and walked all over Philadelphia to see the insides of about 40 properties – and to hunt for phone numbers to many more.

This winding path has provided new experiences and clarified the answer. Remarkably, though, I discovered today that one phone call 12 days ago probably would have revealed the same destination! For many reasons, it was clearly necessary to take the journey and to go deeper within myself, rather than to know immediately. I needed to immerse myself fully in the uncertainty and reach out to anyone and everyone for leads every day. That may be one of the biggest lessons of the past 12 days.

Two years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Lisa Haneberg, author of Two Weeks to a Breakthrough. One of the techniques she talked about in her presentation, and encouraged me personally to practice, was to zero in on your goal and share it with two new people each day.

I shared this goal with dozens more than two people each day and received helpful suggestions and introductions from strangers all over town. It got easier all the time to strike up conversations about my goal anywhere – on street corners, in shops, at a festival, etc. – and the adventure unfolded in unexpected directions as new clues were revealed.

I haven’t thought about my conversation with Lisa or her book in a long time, but as I watched myself pounding the pavement and talking to anyone and everyone about my quest, I grinned as I suddenly remembered her advice. Thanks, Lisa, you were right!

It’s easy to find excuses not to reach out and ask, but unless we put ourselves out there, how can we get what we want?